The man I am today.

The man I am today, wasn't built in a day
Just like how Rome wasn't built in a day

This is a story of how I came to become the man I am today.

I was the "weird kid" while I was in form 1 ~ 4
I was pathetic, and lonely
There was no one I could really talk my passion about
My geeky passion
Games, Comics
Songs that aren't mainstream
Movie that barely anyone watches
I was pathetic to even try and change the part of me that makes me who I am
I tried to like the things others find interesting
K- Pop, dramas, latest scandal of some idol I don't care for, branded things
I was trying to be a social chameleon ~~
As time passes, I start to lose my own identity.
I can't even look in the mirror, knowing for sure who the person in the mirror is.

I have nowhere I belong to ....
I still retain my love for the geeky stuff
Yet, I do not have pure passion for the stuff loved by so people my age

This all changed when my brother rekindled my love for anime by inviting me to Comic Fiesta 2013
That event changed my view on life ....
There was so many people out there, loving the same exact thing I love
I was not alone, I found a place I belong to

I brought that bright warm love for my passion to form 5 and my life instantly changed for the better.
I became closer with some of my friends with the same interest and they are the best friend anyone could ask for.
My confidence started to rise and I felt empowered.
I became the treasurer for the Interact Club in my school
I was in the chorus speaking team of my school while we won first place for inter - zon
I was the team captain for the winning team of the robotics competition (Lego)

I became honest with myself, stand up strong and do not submit to the judgmental eyes of the public.
The biggest confidence boost for myself however ....
My girlfriend
My very first one, I must say,
She was understanding, loving and caring
She was the one that gave me the true answer to the one question I kept asking myself.
Will there be someone for me out there ?

However, we went on our different paths
Perhaps our time together has ended, but the time we shared in the past was true.
I couldn't thank her enough for making me a better man,
I was a pathetic, lonely, introverted person ~
But now, I am confident, happy, outgoing and extroverted person.

That is the story of how I became the man I am today

I would like to tell everyone out there that, you are never truly alone. There will always be someone out there for you, you just have to stick with your passion and be true to yourself. No good can come from lying to yourself and changing your behavior just to fit in with the crowd.

Dark Horse

The name is Ketty. A dark-brown Thoroughbred horse. Thoroughbred horse is a mix between any kind of breeds for example; An Arabian horse and Haflinger Horse. She had the conformation of a dark fetlock, dark hair and dark-brown color. She was capable of handling vigorous activities and performances. She can be rode for hours and still standing actively.

Preparing Ketty to be rode. Ketty wearing a bridle.

 
I was assigned by the stable manager which is also my friend; Fauzan. He assigned me to take care of Ketty while the other stablemates took care of 2 horses per staff. I was special because I was not as professional as the other staff members so I was only assigned 1 horse which was Ketty and I was grateful because I was given the opportunity and chance to prove that  I can handle the responsibility. I thought to myself, "how could they trust me with such a big task that they are willing to assign me the fate and health of a horse."

From that day onwards, I took care of Ketty. she was quite hard to deal with at first. She stomped my foot and I screamed silently. On that particular day also, when I was grooming her body and I was looking at the leg, I was kicked in the eye and luckily it wasn't too bad. It was my bad because I groomed a little too rough at her wound which I didn't noticed before. At first I was frustrated but when I felt that she was also trying to be at her best behavior, I was touched and I didn't blame her at all for what she did to me. I tried my best to hide my bruised eye from my family, especially my parents . I don't want them to think that Ketty is dangerous, and even worse, stop me from taking care of Ketty.

Day after day, I trained her. Training a horse can be done in 2 ways; lunging and riding. Lunging is a method in which a person stands in the middle of a circular fence at least 8m radius and a lunging rope which is a simple rope just specialized for lunging, tied on it's head collar. The training session for lunging is done for about 30-40 minutes. Frankly speaking, I only did for 20 minutes because standing on a field under the scorching sun is seriously killing me. And I can only make Ketty race trot which is the next step after walking trot and before canter. Canter is the previous level of speed before gallop.

Basic lunging diagram. Red dot shows the instructor, green is lunging whip, pink defines lunging rope that connects
the instructor.

Until one day, when a staff is trying to get Ketty back to it's stable, she slipped and fell, cracking it's hind and legs like a splattered pie. She was wounded at the barrel, foreleg, and her buttocks was also heavily wounded. The staff member put on Skin heal and wound spray for veterinary purpose. She couldn't stand still for long and was damaged severely. The training is halted and the situation worsen when we could spot fleas and lice on her body. The stable manager called University Putra Malaysia(UPM) Serdang for veterinary assistant and they came and inspect each and every horse we have at the stable. We have 14 horses including ponies.

Faculty of Veterinary Medicine came to our stable.

Practical students from UPM Serdang briefing moment.

Ketty was confirmed to be pregnant by the veterinarian from UPM Serdang. The bad news is Ketty couldn't sustain her life any longer. We have no money to afford for her treatment as it is too costly. The wound has entered her bone and to make matters worse, parasites started to enter her body. The open wound has made a lot of internal damage to the body. The stable manager made the toughest choice, to put her down, as there was no chance of survival for Ketty

Ketty undergo Rectal Palpation to check whether pregnancy is positive or not.

The day for her "treatment" is decided. On the day before she is taken away, Ketty fell down and could no longer muster the strength to stand up. She lied down in her stable, weak and  in agony. The pain and sadness of looking at her weak soulless body is still fresh in my mind. I could picture myself sitting beside her like it was yesterday. The lice swarmed her body, my poor Ketty, she can't even catch a breath at her final moments. My stablemates cried and I felt really sad, she looks really terrible. Her muzzle is stunned and couldn't even move. From time to time, she would try her very best to find the strength to stand back up, but she just couldn't find the strength. She was hungry and very dehydrated at that time. She needed water to drink. We tried all we could to ease her suffering. We even tied clothes at her face because her face is lying against the rough wall of the stable and her face was bleeding. I couldn't bear to watch and I went back home, sadness overwhelms me at the time and I was so sad that I didn't dare to attend the day Ketty's misery comes to an end (euthanasia) at the next day. I felt powerless, frustrated and sad that I couldn't change the outcome of the scenario no matter how much I wished for it to happen.

So I would like to remind everyone out there that no matter who is your partner, a cat, a dog, a horse or a human, they will walk down this road of life that may collapse anytime. Cherish all the time you have together no matter what you're doing together.

DKHP'14 student ~ "HOUSE OF ANIMALS, WHERE ANIMALS ARE FAMILY"

My stablemates and Ketty; June 2013